Buh-bye 2010! Don't Let The Door Hit You On Your Way Out!

I would like to say that I am sad that 2010 is over, but I am not.  I am relieved.  Sad to say, but it was one of the most difficult years of my life.  The first four to six months of 2010 are a fog to me - I barely remember anything but grief and sadness.  Lilly's diagnosis really marred 2010 for me and it makes me quite angry that I have disliked the first year of her life so much.  This should have been one of the best years of my life, but CF really put a wrench in it.

The latter half of the year has been an attempt to recoup, but 2010 has continued to pound on us.  Earlier in the year we lost my eccentric Great-Aunt Edna and by Labor Day we lost my Papaw.  Less than a month later we almost lost my Uncle Freddy.  Uncle Freddy continues to attempt to recover at St. Joseph East, but after multiple surgeries, he is yet to be healthy enough to go home.  Finally, we lost my Great-Aunt Rainey, my grandmother's sister, and one of the matriarch's of our family.  Frankly, as far as health goes, this year has just plain sucked.

All this was on top of us attempting to adjust to the financial and emotional strain that a second child (particularly one with a chronic health problem) places on your marriage and your life in general.  I think I spent most of 2010 on my feet and I cannot remember the last time I actually laid down and read a book (this is compared to me reading 2-3 books a week a year ago - a stress buster I desperately miss) and just talked with my husband about something other than money or kids.  Add the additional stress of trying to care for 2 small children while your husband is gone for most of the week, and I can safely say that 2010 was exhausting - physically, mentally, and emotionally.

That said, the year still had its moments.  It is, after all, my first year with Lilly, who alongside her sister, light up my life.  Anytime I get down, all I have to do is to look at those girls, and my spirits lift.  They are truly a blessing.  I also finally found the courage this year to recognize how unhappy I was in my professional life and found a new job that both challenges me and gives me the balance I have always sought.  Further, Jeremy and I have learned that we can handle so much more than we ever thought.  We are a much stronger couple, and much stronger individuals, than I ever imagined.  I can't complain in that regard.

Regardless, I have counted the days, hours, seconds until 2010 was over.  I am praying that 2011 is happier and healthier.  Every year, Dear Abby posts a New Year Resolution poem in her column.  I think a portion of it is exactly what I wish for 2011, as 2010 has taught me to take it one day at a time:

Just for today:  I will live through this day only.  I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow.  I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once.  I know I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.


Just for today:  I will be happy.  If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.


Just for today:  I will accept what is.  I will face reality.  I will correct those things I can correct and accept those I cannot.

So 2011, I will just take you one day at a time and pray that you will be kind to me and my family.